


Unforgivable

by VerbenaDestroyer



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Affairs, Alien Cultural Differences, F/M, Forgiveness, I'm Sorry, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-12
Updated: 2014-04-12
Packaged: 2018-01-19 01:51:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1450975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VerbenaDestroyer/pseuds/VerbenaDestroyer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alcohols were consumed and mistakes were made...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unforgivable

Her eyes snapped open. Dread already filled her chest and her stomach sank. She felt nauseous.

 

_It’s just a nightmare. That’s all. Sooner or later everything will burst into flame and I’ll wake up._

 

She gingerly slid the covers off her skin and saw the Caucasian, human skin on the 5-digit hand holding her hip. She blew air through her nose as she tried to stop her gag reflex.

 

_This is really funny, really, really…_

 

She stood from the bed, the soft blue light of the aquairium making her fair skin glow. She tripped over an empty liquor bottle, then a few others along with a couple of shot glasses on her brisk walk to the bathroom.

She emptied her stomach. Her head started to throb, and she wasn’t even sober yet. She ran the shower, as hot as it would go, and stood in the rain.

 

_What the fuck have I done? This is…Not. Okay. Not… real…_

 

 

> She must have been in there for a while. She heard Kaiden call to her,
> 
> “Good morning, beautiful.” _Cheesy. Fucking cheesy. Just one thing to go right… And it’s fucked._
> 
> She slammed the water off.
> 
> “You have until I get out of this shower to leave.”
> 
> “C’mon, baby. What’s wrong?”
> 
>  

She slammed the button on the wall to open the door. Standing stark naked, dripping wet, and black hair almost covering her breasts, Kaiden didn’t even notice the icy stare boring through his skull.

 

 

> “What’s wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with you?!”
> 
> He looked at her seductively, finally meeting her gaze, and wearing a snug, still-drunk grin.
> 
> “What’s wrong with me, is that I’m a little sober, and you’re a little too… loud in all the wrong ways right now…” He made for a grab, and ended up with both arms twisted behind his back.
> 
> “Leave. Now.” Although she was whispering into his ear, he almost took her seriously.
> 
> “Honey… You won’t hurt me.”
> 
> “Soldier, this is an order: get the fuck out of my sight.”
> 
> “Well,” He turned around after she set him loose and began to clothe herself in the bathroom. “is this how you treat the rest of your command?”
> 
>  

She looked up slowly, hatred taking over the simplistic anger consuming her being.

 

 

> “Ask for a nice chat in your cabin, where you have a liquor store waiting? And after they confess their undying, constant love for you, fuck their brains out and assault them in the morning?” He donned a pair of his combat pants.
> 
>  
> 
> “Alenko…” She was fully clothed, tossing the towel across the floor after drying her hair.
> 
>  
> 
> “Is that why Garrus is just SO hooked on you? Maybe he likes a little spankin’ now and then, too?”
> 
>  
> 
> In less than a second, she was in his face, throwing a right hook. He grabbed her wrist and attempted to push her away. “What, a little too real for you? Don’t want anyone to know the Commander is an unfaithful little slut?”
> 
>  
> 
> She screamed as she threw a biotic charge at him, throwing him against the desk. EDI came online in response to the violence.  
>  “Commander Shepard? I’ve detected a disturbance in your quarters. Due to your request, I am not using video to assess the situation. Do you require assistance?”
> 
>  

Shepard ignored the AI. She watched as Alenko rubbed his head in pain, and blood poured from his nose.

 

 

> “Oh, EDI, maybe Garrus would like to come see the Commander, she could use a little ‘assistance’…”
> 
>  
> 
> “Very well Lieutenant, Garrus Vakarian will be on his way shortly.”
> 
>  

Shepard was flabbergasted. She had just woken up, and the entire world was about to be against her.

 

 

> “I should kill you.” She stared as he got to his feet.
> 
>  
> 
> “But you won’t, will ya?” He wiped the blood from his face across his arm. She stared at him blankly. “Because you really mean every word of what you said last night.”
> 
>  
> 
> She was about to throw another blow as Garrus came running into the cabin. He stood in front of them both.
> 
>  
> 
> “What the hell?” He holstered his pistol, but kept his hand on the butt, still unsure of the situation.
> 
>  

Shepard threw her wet hair over her shoulder, letting her energy recede back into her core. Alenko sat in the rubble of the desk, laughing hysterically.

 

 

> “Look, its big boy himself. Well, hey there Garrus, how’s it goin’?”
> 
>  
> 
> “’Big boy?’ I really don’t understand humans very well… Why are you in Shepard’s cabin at this hour, half naked, bleeding, and in a pile of… destroyed desk and electronics?”
> 
>  
> 
> “Oh, that’s the fun part, that is just… the best part. And I think—think Shep should tell it.” His laughing turned to random chuckles to interrupt his sentences. “So, Shepard. Tell your boyfriend. Why am I naked, in your cabin, bleeding in a pile of shit?”
> 
>  
> 
> Garrus looked around at the empty liquor bottles and messy sheets. “Shep… Is this really what I think?”
> 
>  
> 
> She heaved a heavy sigh. “Alenko, leave. Now.” Garrus picked him up by the shoulder, and threw him out in the elevator. He lay there, cackling as he descended down to the Crew Deck, where EDI would notify Chakwas.
> 
>  

Shepard put a hand on her hip and held her throbbing forehead with the other. Garrus returned, shutting and locking the cabin door. He stood in front of her, towering a good half foot over her. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

 

> “Shepard. Look at me.” She remained still. “Shepard, up here.”

  
She brought guilty eyes to his intense stare.

 

 

> “Talk.” She sighed.
> 
>  
> 
> “Okay, how about I start.” He began to pace in front of her. “So, I wake up at 0300, with EDI telling me there is an emergency in your cabin, and that I was specifically called to assist.
> 
>  
> 
> “Then I thrown on my armor, grab my gun, and come running up her to my romantic interest’s bedroom, where I find her ‘fighting’ with a half-naked comrade.” He stopped, facing her. Lowering his face to her level, he tilted his head.
> 
>  
> 
> “You smell like alcohol, vomit, and affair.” He let a growl rumble in his sub-vocals while he spoke. “This place smells like sex. I have been in the Battery all night, and in my bed all morning.”
> 
>  
> 
> “Garrus.” His intensity deepened with every second that passed.
> 
>  
> 
> “Garrus. Garrus, Garrus, Garrus.” He turned away from her, facing the aquarium. “Do you know what kind of dishonor this brings me? To us?” She sighed. “You are my leader. Friend. Lover. Or so I thought.”
> 
>  
> 
> “Garrus!” She stung with the insult, but could only imagine what kind of slap in the face this was to him. He turned back towards her. He let out a sigh of his own.
> 
>  
> 
> “I just wanted one thing in this world to work. One thing. And I thought you were different. New. Something exotic I had never experienced before. And that part is true. You are exotic. But…” He sat on the sofa, staring at the messy sheets.
> 
>  
> 
> “Our first night together. That… bonding… I guess it’s my fault. I didn’t explain.” He rubbed his crest.
> 
>  
> 
> She sat on the floor, beside his feet, but didn’t dare touch him. “Explain what?” She quietly spoke and looked down in shame.
> 
>  
> 
> “That moment. That… ceremony, almost. It… obviously meant so much more to me than you. I had only done this with one other woman, the Turian I told you about on my old ship.”
> 
>  
> 
> “It was special to me, Garrus.”
> 
>  
> 
> “You have a strange way of showing me that. I don’t know how to explain; you think you get it, but you don’t…” He thought hard, trying to find a way to translate it across their cultural barriers. “You submit. I take you. You’re mine, but only mine and I protect you with my life. I fight to the death for you already, because it is my duty. I fight to the death for you now because it is my will, and my honor.”
> 
>  
> 
> Tears started to form in her eyes. “Garrus, I do understand. I really do.” He stood up.
> 
>  
> 
> “No, you don’t! You submitted, and I took you alright. Then you turned around and let another man take you. Am I not enough? I don’t assert myself enough? Am I not strong enough? Too alien for you?” He paced in front of her again, his voice rising.  
>  “You humans call it ‘love,’ we don’t have a word for it. So I guess I love you, Shepard. I guess I love you…” He faced the messy bed again, a growl emanating. “And I wish I didn’t. If I could take it all back, I would!” He screamed at her and began to storm out of the room.

 

She screamed after him, commanding him to return to her. She lept to her feet, running after him and jumping onto his back before he reached the elevator. He stumbled back into the cabin, her weight bearing down on him.

 

 

> “You love Alenko, call him back to comfort you! That’s exactly what you need, a nice, strong male human. Not some weird fuckin alien!”
> 
>  
> 
> “Garrus, you shouldn’t believe me, or anything that comes from my mouth—“
> 
>  
> 
> “You’re right, I shouldn’t! Get off me, now!” He tried to pry her hands away from his cowl. After failing, he popped his armor lock off and it fell to the ground, taking her with it. All he was clothed in was the skin-tight, silver and black under-armor suit. She pushed the heavy back piece from her chest, shoving it almost across the room. He stood there, staring at her on the floor.
> 
>  
> 
> She stood, standing as tall as she could. She couldn’t control the tears streaming down her face.
> 
>  
> 
> “Garrus Vakarian, you are more than enough for me. You are all that I need. I made a stupid mistake, unforgivable and just fucking… stupid. I’m stupid. That’s it. You picked the wrong human female to mate with.”
> 
>  
> 
> “I think I may have.” Her heart sank. He stared with cold, focused intensity. “I could give you everything. But you have forsaken me.”
> 
>  
> 
> “There’s nothing I can do to explain my actions. If you’d like, we can sit down and talk. But if you want to take up post on another ship, I’m sorry…”
> 
>  

After a long pause, he pulled the disgusting sheets off the bed and laid there. She slowly followed, lying beside him.

 

 

> “So, how did this all happen?” He stared at the ceiling, feet crossed and talons clasped.
> 
>  
> 
> “I was having a rough night. I let my thoughts get to me. I was lonely…”
> 
>  
> 
> “Why not call me up?”
> 
>  
> 
> “I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know exactly how close you wanted to be.”
> 
>  
> 
> “So you think I used you for your pleasures?”
> 
>  
> 
> “That’s what a lot of human males do. Its common.”
> 
>  
> 
> “That’s… backwards. Our women are strong, independent, and respected. They do their part in society, and we do ours: love and protect them and our children.”
> 
>  
> 
> “It’s backwards alright.” She sighed. “I had a few drinks that turned into a few bottles, and things got sexual.”
> 
>  
> 
> “They just ‘got’ sexual? They just happen? Our relations usually involve a competition or a challenge. Things get hot. And then, _hot_.”
> 
>  
> 
> She was silent. She felt the urge to chuck again but did everything she could inside to force it down. He looked over at his discomfort.
> 
>  
> 
> “What’s wrong?”
> 
>  
> 
> “Nothing.” She waved her hand dismissively.
> 
>   
>  He sat up. “Really. Just because I’m angry doesn’t mean I can’t worry and take care of you.”
> 
>  
> 
> “Are you kidding?” She laughed. “I've done something so unforgivable, and you want to nurse my hangover?”
> 
>  
> 
> “Do I have a choice, really?” He looked her dead in the eyes.
> 
>  
> 
> “Yes! You have every choice! You can leave me! I would leave me!” She stood, holding her mouth and stomach.
> 
>  
> 
> “Do you really think that?” He stood up with her, leading her to the bathroom. He knelt by her and held her hair as she lurched. “Kaiden is not here with you now.”
> 
>  
> 
> “He was with me last night. You weren’t.” She whispered as she caught her breath.
> 
>  
> 
> “He didn’t really take you, did he?” He handed her a towel hanging on the wall.
> 
>  
> 
> “What? Yes, he did, he ‘took’ me.” She got to her feet.
> 
>  
> 
> “But not really. Not like I did. If he did, he would be caring for you. He would have held you throughout the morning. You wouldn’t have destroyed half your belongings throwing him against the wall if you wanted him like you want me.” She looked down, surprised at how calmly he was making his points.
> 
>  
> 
> He turned on a lukewarm shower and gently began removing her clothing. She watched in shock at the kindness and gentleness he was giving to her, undeservedly. He led her into the shower and sat facing away from her in the doorway.
> 
>  
> 
> “He didn’t take you. He didn’t mate with you. He used you.” He continued speaking against the white noise of the shower. “You thought you needed him, for what reason, I have no clue. But you did what you thought you had to.”
> 
>  

She faced the shower wall, leaning against it. Shock consuming her body.

 

 

> “Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m the one that doesn’t get your culture. But this is what Im making of it. True, I will filet that human if I ever get the chance, but I am confident in us. I remember every millisecond of our night together. Every pheromone, every sound you made, every breath we took. And I have no doubt that Alenko would give anything to make a woman scream like you did.” They both smiled, still facing away from each other.
> 
>  
> 
> “I love you Garrus. I’m sorry.” She spoke softly as the tears streaming down her face were masked by the water pouring down on her.
> 
>  
> 
> “I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, I got writers block while writing my other fic. I decided to experiment, and I kinda like it. Even though it screamed against every moral fiber of my being to include affair in such a beautiful relationship...


End file.
